i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
worst night to have a conscience
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
