Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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