$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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