batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
