does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize