That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
