So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize