Porn is love you can see.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
