You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
