the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
