They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
