we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
