I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
