Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
