Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
