You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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