It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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