You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize