I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
