I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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