Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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