Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
