32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
