I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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