Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize