What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
