A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
