Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
