This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
