Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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