Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
