UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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