I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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