I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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