Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
