weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
