I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
