in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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