I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
How's work?
Spinning.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
