he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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