he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
