Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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