I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
