Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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