Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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