you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
