my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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