dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize