I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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