so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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