he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I look better un-naked...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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