dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
