Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
