i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If I die, sorry about rent.
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