Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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