Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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