Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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