How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
