Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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