i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
