dude i'm inner monologue high
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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