you would pick up someone in the library
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
