the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i came on her dog
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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