I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
