Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize