Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
