apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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