Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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