coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
