Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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