What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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