the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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