I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
